{Birth Story} : Where I was Born Serie Project | Kate
Today it’s Kate that will tell her beautiful birth story.. After a C section with her daughter , she had her first son in this exact same room. She is telling us the birth of her second son Matteo:
My first baby was born at 41+5 (she was a hospital birth ending in c section but that is a long story for another time) and my second baby was bang on 42 weeks so I fully expected to go to 42 weeks again. I promised myself I would be cool, but as the days stretched out I felt more and more ‘over it’ and ready for labour to start.
About a week before Matteo was born, my 6 year old brought gastro home from school. I was as careful as humanly possible but ended up violently ill and confused a lot of the time if I was going into labour while sick.
That was a trip I hope to never relive.
I recovered in 24 hours but from then on in, I spent most days before he was born having surges on and off. It was a trying time, not knowing if it was about to kick off or not.
Having not experienced primordial labour in my last 2 pregnancies it was pretty challenging.
I was hyper emotional during this time, between feeling enormous, lethargic and then getting sick, I of course had my kids to care for- I was also moving though some emotional stuff that all felt really heavy. In hindsight it was a purge that needed to happen to prepare me for the work of birthing our last baby.
The Saturday before he was born I felt fairly regular surges all day, my mum came over briefly to visit, asking me if there were any signs- I tried to hide that I was in fact having fairly regular pains because I knew she would get excited and I needed peace, I was also careful to not let the kids know, because by this stage I’d had a few false starts.
By the Sunday I woke to more regular and more painful surges but vowed to get on with my day as planned. We had a walk as a family in the morning and went to have lunch with my in-laws 45 mins drive away. In the car, I loosely timed the pains as I drove and they were coming between every 7-10 minutes. I kept this pretty quiet, just saying I wasn’t sure if it kicking off but not staying for long after lunch.
We got home and I managed a broken sleep with a hot water bottle keeping me comfortable.
After dinner I put the kids to bed around 8 and called my midwife- she recommended having a bath to rest a little as she could hear my exasperation. The bath was lovely, and it did ease some of the surges for a time.
My husband was busy outside finishing some work related stuff and I tried to rest, stretch and gather myself in the lounge with my birth playlist on (the same one I used for my second born, my first home birth)
Around midnight things framed up, I called Haley my midwife and just said ‘I need you to come now’ it was thankfully, a very quick phone call.
Things were starting to get pretty intense and I needed some help. I also called my girlfriend Steph who was coming as a support.
Nathan helped by applying some counter pressure to my hips when I needed it and inflated the birth pool.
When Haley arrived at 130ish I was on the couch with a pillow between my knees- she came down to my level and held my hand, witnessing a surge- i burst into tears when it passed and told her I couldn’t do it. (Standard me in labour, I am so excited to birth, but once it begins I complain a lot)
She told me she was going to call her second, which really surprised me and made me cry harder. I had noticed my vocalisation was quite guttural but didn’t think I was close to birth… Haley thought otherwise and her and nathan got busy filling the pool.
I had so many doubts, this labour was so different to my last and while I know enough to know birth never follows a set pattern, it was hard to get it out of my head that not only were my surges still fairly far apart but my waters hadn’t broken.
I didn’t feel close to birth but I certainly felt and sounded ‘pushy’
Once I was in the pool, I absolutely felt better but the surges were SO intense.
I got through the waves with a comb, horses breath and taking my husbands knuckles and pressing them as hard as I cold against my forehead.
This is where time starts to bend for me.
What I do know is I kept asking Haley where my baby was, putting my fingers inside myself wishing to feel a little hairy head but feeling so disheartened when I couldn’t.
I was so pushy and grunty, it was all very confusing for me.
I asked if she could see ‘the purple line’ I asked what signs could she see or sense that I was close, basically I was feeling impatient and wanted to know when it was going to end. I contemplated asking for a VE but knew it was pointless.
I asked if my baby was stuck to which my lovely patient and kind midwife said ‘babies don’t get stuck’
I just had to get on with the work of birth.
I was in the only position I could muster, on my knees leaning over the side of the bath.
As I was groaning though a surge I yelled ‘my waters’ and felt an almighty pop. My god that felt good, then it didn’t. It was like my baby clicked down into my birth canal with that pop and things intensified.
Throughout my labour my sweet 3.5 year old boy woke a number of times, needing me but I was in no position to hold him like he wanted- he spent a good amount of time resting in nathan’s arms on the couch.
Being able to see him while I was at work, was really lovely and soothing.
Steph and the second Emma had arrived around 2/3 (I think? Who knows) and I can’t emphasise enough how amazing it was to have such intuitive support around me.
I don’t think I asked for anything other than water but when it came to supporting me through the surges everyone chipped in. Loving hands all round. It’s one of my favourite memories.
Emma would remind me to let a surge go, Haley would shake my lower back for me, Steph would hold my hands- and everyone would rotate. Beautiful, loving home birth.
At some point I was able to put my fingers inside myself and feel his head. I just love that sensation, it spurs me on to dig deep and keep going.
I felt quite pinchy just above my public bone, I felt like I needed to change position but honestly, didn’t know how. I felt so stuck.
Supported on both sides, I attempted a surge standing and holy shit it hurt. So back down I went, this time reclining back in the water.
As his head emerged I felt the stretch and the fire, I was way more aware of my babies position this time round which was lovely.
I felt more in control, having been my second vaginal birth.
His head felt enormous to me. I was stretching myself around his head with my hands, such an amazing feeling.
He kicked me a few times in this position as he was trying to rotate.
I’d discussed with Haley that I wanted to be the first person to touch my baby (having not done that in my last birth)
But as the next surge came and his shoulders emerged I asked for her help because he felt really ‘stuck’
Unbeknown to me at that point, he had come down hand by his face really tangled in his cord. She smoothly untangled him and passed him to me.
‘Thank you thank you thank you, oh my god I had a baby’ is the first thing that came out of my mouth when I pulled him up to my chest. He took a little while to come round, and I came back to the room… although interestingly I didn’t feel like I had been taken away into labour land this time. I really felt ‘in my body’ the whole time, I was quite present. I love how different all my births have been, and i wish i could do it all again. But I am content with moving into the next era of my life.
In hindsight my intuition telling me he was ‘stuck’ was about him coming down with his arm first, and being wrapped in his cord. My no means a medical issue, but one that would have certainly been interfered with had I been birthing in hospital.
Haley, my midwife was absolutely incredible, supporting me to birth undisturbed in my own power.
Having my closest and oldest friend there to witness me was something I’ll never forget, as was my husband really stepping up and being the birth support I’ve always needed.
I honestly couldn’t have asked for more.
It was just normal, hard and beautiful birth.
He was born just before 5am weighing 3.7kg (just like my other 2)
My eldest daughter slept though the entire thing and woke to a lounge room full of people.
Home birth is sacred to me. After enduring the full gamut of the cascade of intervention with my first, I am so grateful to the women who opened my eyes to the safety and security in birthing at home.
I tell people whenever I get the chance that the power to birth is within us all, we just need to dig deep to trust ourselves.