{Birth Story} : Where I was Born Serie Project | Saara
Today it is Saara telling her story of her perfect VBAC, Penny story:
My journey with Penny.
She was a surprise that came to us because we put thought the idea of having another child so she came. I was so worried I wasn't ready since I was still breastfeeding our first but this child and I were so connected from the start. She spoke to me one morning. I woke up earlier than everyone and instead of laying there trying to sleep more, I got up and meditated thinking something was telling me to do it. When I was deep in it I heard a voice from my womb say "mum, I am fine" This was the day after our first midwife appointment where we didn't find a heartbeat. I wasn't too worried but when she spoke to me, I knew everything was alright and that it will throughout the pregnancy and birth. Each time I got doubtful or worried I'd remember what my daughter told me.. I'm fine. We had a pretty straight forward pregnancy, very hands off. Again I trusted what she said. For awhile I had 38 weeks in my mind but thought i was crazy going for that so I pushed it away.
On the Monday, 38 and 2, I started getting niggles. I calmed myself and went for a walk and they fizzled to nothing. That week I curb walked, we had sex, I ate hot food and did beach walking. On the Thursday we had an incredible day. My toddler, partner and I went to wamberal and walked on the beach, then drove up to toowoon Bay and had a nice picnic lunch at the park and went down to the beach for a swim. While on the beach I was getting so uncomfortable and couldn't find a good way to sit comfortably. I knew in my mind this was the beginning. I had a swim and looked back at my partner and 1st child and said to myself, "this is the last day of the 3 of us". I got out and told my partner I need to be home. While driving home I was having very bareable to regular contractions every 5 or so minutes. We had a nice dinner date planned, just mum and dad, Grandma was booked in to babysit. I spoke to my midwife and if I should go to dinner or not, she told me "go, enjoy, it could be days". So we did. I riskily wore a white dress and we went out for a lovely steak dinner. We got home at about 9:30 and I got ready for bed. At about 11, I woke to a three minute big contraction and then I felt something in my vagina and knew. I got up and went to the bathroom and my waters had broken! I woke up my partner and we reattached the lounge room, filled the pool, put the fairy lights on, music on and got into the zone. Everything was still very bareable at this point but was definitely ramping up.
I'm still amazed at how well my head game was during my whole labour. I had my affirmations hanging up but also repeating in my head through the whole labour. They really became a second language that pulled me through the tough contractions. Every time my mind said "I can't do this, I can't do this" i would bite back and say "I am powerful, I am capable, I am ready". I was so in my body so deeply, feeling every tightening, every movement, every progression. I could feel when I moved through a new stage of labour and transitioned. It was at those points my mind had to be stronger. I would remind myself that I was in transition and everything was progressing as it should.
At about 2 we messaged our beautiful midwife saying i just had 3 contractions in the last 10 minutes, another transition. This was while I was in the shower with water on my back. An hour later my contractions ramped up again and my noises had changed. Another transition. Beautiful. Our midwife arrived at 3:20 and just held space. She brought a diffuser and had lovely oils flowing, we had Bon Iver playing peacefully. I had a very crazy moment here i remember, just after my waters broke I found out a friend had passed away and as I was labouring here I had a big cathartic cry for her. It felt wild to be bringing a new life into the world whilst my friends soul left.
From here we moved into the water, the second midwife arrived and we all just waited. I was just riding the labour waves u till my pushing phase began. I was in the pool actively pushing for about an hour. I checked how far the head was and i felt it at the tip of my finger, checked after a couple of contractions but they hadnt dropped further. I noticed the sunlight creeping in and knew my eldest would be stirring. We had her door shut the whole night to cut out the noise of labour but I asked someone to make sure it was open so she wouldn't be scared in there. She crept out quietly at 5:45 and came to my pool side. She held my hand while I laboured and pushed. It was the most magical moment for her and I to have after we had such a hard birth for her. After a while of pushing Rhi suggested we moved to the toilet, things weren't progressing much and we knew that trick would do it.
After a contraction I felt again with my finger and I could feel them half a finger away! Rhi told me they were close, did I want to walk back to the pool or put towels down on the bathroom floor.
There was no way I was walking back to pool. That seemed like miles away and I wasnt having anything mess with this stage of labour. I'd been waiting 2 and a half years for this VBAC so I wasn't letting anything mess with my flow. I got down on all fours and pushed but I didn't like that. I needed to feel powerful. I had always envisioned myself standing for this birth, knowing gravity would be on my side and the thought of standing whilst giving birth seemed very powerful! So I stood up! I had 2 contractions. On the second i felt their head coming out and yelled for someone to catch them! The head came out and the rest just fell out! I felt them kick their body out and she was earth side. Our amazing midwife caught her and passed her to dad, who passed her to me. My beautiful daughter, Penny.
Nothing has ever made me feel more empowerful, strong and resilient than giving birth to this child. I was showered by my midwife, popped into my own big bed, fed by my partner and my toddler before sleeping the rest of the day. I had the chilliest postpatum ever. Didn't leave my room or bed really for a week, didn't leave the house for 2 or 3 weeks and I had 2 weeks of beautiful organic meals delivered. It was gentle, it was nourishing and it was exactly what I needed. I felt like I was recovering from both my daughters births in this one go. I was recovering from the trauma of the first. This birth had healed wounds I thought would never heal. I feel so blessed to have had the midwife we did and have the partner I do. Both stood by me and my decisions in a hands of pregnancy and a HBAC. I'll be forever thankful.
If you would like to be part of my serie “ Where I was Born” like Saara did, please click here or if you would like me to document your birth, you can find all the information here note that I have special offer for 5 future mum to get your birth photograph all on film